FIGHT WITH SLEDGE HAMMERS [1902]

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daveboz
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FIGHT WITH SLEDGE HAMMERS [1902]

Unread post by daveboz » Wed Jun 27, 2018 2:36 pm

In another thread, I mention an impending attempt to recreate the lost film FIGHT WITH SLEDGE HAMMERS via crowd-funding and a single still. It has since come to my attention that a fragment of the original scenario survives at the BFI, which, with their kind cooperation, will be employed in the restoration. It is reproduced below:

============== ORIGINAL SCENARIO ===========

FIGHT WITH SLEDGE HAMMERS
by
Herbert Ralnig, after Shakespeare

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:

Alice Quiche-Lorraine .................. beauteous soubrette employed by the Royal Family as a diction coach

Sir Harold Lime III ........................ dashing entrepreneur and bon vivant, engaged to Alice

Enoch ........................................... a stable-boy of low character and vast cunning

———————— The Action. ———————

VIEW OF ESTATE OF SIR HAROLD IN AUTUMN SUNLIGHT WITH CATTLE.

VIEW OF GARDEN AND SHED.

Alice is tending to the chrysanthemums when — of a sudden — the garden hose that she is training upon the flowers ceases to function!

VIEW OF SHED.

Enoch is seen to be exerting pressure on the hose with his foot. His face is distorted with sarcastic glee.

VIEW OF GARDEN.

As Alice examines the hose, a sudden burst of water drenches her carefully managed coiffure.

Enoch enters and laughingly forces his unwanted attentions upon Alice, who immediately draws upon her knowledge of proper diction to cry out for assistance.

TITLE: "Enoch, enough! Your master shall hear of this!"

VIEW OF ENOCH.

He is undeterred by Alice’s imprecations, and presses the attack!

VIEW OF GARDEN GATE.

Sir Harold is seen returning from his club, in full evening dress.

VIEW OF SIR HAROLD

He is evidently appalled by what he sees!

VIEW OF GARDEN.

Sir Harold accosts Enoch, and, drawing from his waistcoat a well-made glove, STRIKES Enoch a forceful blow upon the cheek.

TITLE: (Sir Harold.) "Foils, or épées?"

VIEW OF GARDEN.

Alice implores the men to moderate their actions, to no avail.

TITLE: (Enoch.) "Neither! Sledge hammers! That is, if you have the strength to pick one up!"

VIEW OF GARDEN.

Enoch dashes off toward the shed, followed closely by Sir Harold. Alice is distraught.

VIEW OF SHED. (Interior.)

Enoch grasps a sledge hammer and swings it wildly toward Sir Harold.

TITLE: (Enoch.) "Have at you, Sir!"

VIEW OF SHED, AS BEFORE.

Sir Harold, too, grasps a sledge hammer, and the fight is on! Simultaneously, Alice shows great concern.

TITLE: (Sir Harold.) "I shall teach you a lesson that you — and perhaps others! — shall never forget!"

VIEW OF SHED, AS BEFORE.

The men fight with rage and vigour! Ferocious blows are given — and received!

VIEW OF SHED AND DOORWAY.

A little dog, of evident good breeding — perhaps a Corgi — enters the shed, all unawares.

Alice spots the dog, whose name is Chops, and favours him with a smile.

TITLE: (Alice.) "Surely you recollect the location of the constabulary, past which we have often walked of an evening? Go there at once, and fetch a constable, and don’t be slow about it. There’s a good fellow!”

VIEW OF GARDEN.

Chops is seen to be rushing away in the direction of the constabulary.

VIEW OF SHED, AS BEFORE.

Sir Harold now sports a nasty bruise on his forehead, and his hair is untidy. Enoch, too, is somewhat the worse for wear, as blood runs from his ears, and teeth fall from his mouth in great profusion.

VIEW OF CONSTABULARY.

And here is little Chops, bounding into the precincts with alacrity and sincere enthusiasm! Indeed a doughty little chap. He seeks to arouse the attention of a certain constable, who, hilariously, is asleep at his desk!

TITLE: (Constable.) "What the—?"

[Here ends the surviving page of the original manuscript. Perhaps we never shall know who won the fight with sledge hammers!]
Last edited by daveboz on Thu Jun 28, 2018 2:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
yer pal Dave

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boblipton
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Re: FIGHT WITH SLEDGE HAMMERS [1902]

Unread post by boblipton » Wed Jun 27, 2018 4:31 pm

I'd settle for the poster.

Bob
Life's too short to sit on our rears watching other people's work.
— Bob Fells

wich2
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Re: FIGHT WITH SLEDGE HAMMERS [1902]

Unread post by wich2 » Thu Jun 28, 2018 11:45 am

daveboz wrote:[Here ends the surviving page of the original manuscript. Perhaps we never shall know who won the fight with sledge hammers!]
"Be sure to come back to this Theater next week, for ~

TWO FUNERALS WITH CLOSED CASKETS!"

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Jim Roots
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Re: FIGHT WITH SLEDGE HAMMERS [1902]

Unread post by Jim Roots » Thu Jun 28, 2018 2:16 pm

I'm pretty sure Donald Binks played Sir Harold, didn't he?

Jim

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daveboz
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Re: FIGHT WITH SLEDGE HAMMERS [1902]

Unread post by daveboz » Thu Jun 28, 2018 2:45 pm

boblipton wrote:I'd settle for the poster.

Bob
=======

For those who haven’t seen it:

Image
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silentfilm
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Re: FIGHT WITH SLEDGE HAMMERS [1902]

Unread post by silentfilm » Fri Jun 29, 2018 11:34 am

Not to be confused with Vs. Sledge Hammers (1915)!


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Donald Binks
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Re: FIGHT WITH SLEDGE HAMMERS [1902]

Unread post by Donald Binks » Fri Jun 29, 2018 3:26 pm

Jim Roots wrote:I'm pretty sure Donald Binks played Sir Harold, didn't he?

Jim
To be quite honest with you, I've completely forgotten what I was doing in 1902...
Regards from
Donald Binks

"So, she said: "Elly, it's no use letting Lou have the sherry glasses..."She won't appreciate them,
she won't polish them..."You know what she's like." So I said:..."

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boblipton
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Re: FIGHT WITH SLEDGE HAMMERS [1902]

Unread post by boblipton » Fri Jun 29, 2018 3:38 pm

Donald Binks wrote:
Jim Roots wrote:I'm pretty sure Donald Binks played Sir Harold, didn't he?

Jim
To be quite honest with you, I've completely forgotten what I was doing in 1902...
You can count on me to keep mum, Binky.

Bob
Life's too short to sit on our rears watching other people's work.
— Bob Fells

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Jim Roots
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Re: FIGHT WITH SLEDGE HAMMERS [1902]

Unread post by Jim Roots » Sat Jun 30, 2018 12:01 pm

boblipton wrote:
Donald Binks wrote:
Jim Roots wrote:I'm pretty sure Donald Binks played Sir Harold, didn't he?

Jim
To be quite honest with you, I've completely forgotten what I was doing in 1902...
You can count on me to keep mum, Binky.

Bob
And Pop, too?

Jim

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